Man Files for Divorce to Marry the Girlfriend

Divorces are getting a bit too common globally, particularly in the United States. Around half of all marriages in this country end in permanent separation or divorce. Lack of respect for commitment is found to be one of the leading factors as to why couples are drifting apart so frequently.

There’s no doubt that divorce has remained a part of American society for a long time, but it has become more common during the past fifty years. The highest divorce rate in the country was recorded in the 1970 through the 80s, but the rate slightly dropped in the 90s. Nevertheless, it remains a cause of concern for society. But today, we will share the story of a unique couple who decided to file for divorce despite being madly in love, and both felt happy about it. Generally, we have seen couples parting ways with a lot of baggage and grudges, but this couple is different. Want to know more about them? Read on, and you’ll find out.

Legal associate Benno Kaiser had it all sorted in his life. He was doing well as an associate lawyer, and he has met a girl he felt completed him. Her name was Cristina, and the two first met in 2005 in Virginia. Both were a part of the military police at that time.

They courted for around four months and then decided to tie the knot. Benno couldn’t be happier as Isiah, their now 11-year-old baby boy, joined them just one year later. The couple then went on to have two more children, Rebecca and Brianna. Their adorable daughters and son made their life no less than perfect. Everything was going right, at least that’s what Cristina and Benno thought. But, as they say, you may never know what the future has in store. The couple was perhaps unaware of what would happen in the years to come.

Have you ever wondered what pushes a couple to file for a divorce or think about separation? Is it limited income? Marrying at a young age? Religious affiliations? Feeling insecure? Or just not getting along? Research reveals that a divorce is often a result of many of these issues. But, in Benno and Cristina’s case, none of these was found to be the defining factor.

Cristina and Benno’s life was blissful. They were the picture-perfect American family anyone would imagine. However, soon, trouble hit their paradise as Cristina started feeling uncomfortable with Benno. She was a bisexual and felt that something was lacking in her love life. She wanted to be with a girlfriend. But, at the same time, she wanted to be with Benno. Cristina loved him and didn’t want to do anything that would affect her beautiful family, especially her kids.

Since Cristina was confused over what she should do about her growing feelings to be close to a girl, she decided to hatch a plan. She was adamant about fulfilling her desire, so she planned a way to introduce her husband to another female to have a relationship.

But, to do this, she had to consult her husband first, and Cristina had no idea how Benno would react. So, she went to Benno and shared the proposal of opening up their marriage to new partners. He hesitated initially, but Cristina convinced him. So, now, Benno was on board, and Cristina needed to find the right female companion for them.

Cristina, by profession, was a legal assistant, just like Benno, and knew what she was getting into very well. Finding a girlfriend may also jeopardize her own relationship with Benno, but she was willing to take the risk. After all, she had to do something to feel at peace from within, which she wasn’t feeling at the moment.

According to marriage therapist and researcher Dr Scott Stanley, commitment is the core foundation of a marriage.

“Having a long-term view of the marriage that helps us not get overwhelmed by the problems and challenges we experience day today.” Dr Scott says that personal dedication entails having a genuine desire to be together with your spouse in the future and share an identity as a couple. So could it be that Cristina lacked commitment because she was ready to give up on everything she had with Benno?

Cristina told Barcroft TV in 2017 that she proposed the idea of opening their marriage to new possibilities.

“Initially, it was my idea to open the marriage. I brought it to Benno’s attention and told him I would like to introduce women to our relationship to see where it goes.”

So, to turn her dream into a reality, Benno and Cristina opened the doors for new people in their romantic lives. It was a risky and somewhat controversial thing to do, but they weren’t afraid of scandalizing their marriage. Rather they wanted to see what lies ahead for them as a couple. It turned out that this wasn’t as easy as they thought.

The couple faced setback after setback, and none of their dates was successful. But then, Cristina met someone very charming and potentially the right candidate to be her husband’s girlfriend.

She was Sierra Kuntz. The two met in a Las Vegas mall. Kuntz worked in a pet store that was located in the mall. Kuntz recalled their first meeting later in an interview with Barcroft TV, where she said how surprised she felt when she met Cristina.

“I sold reptiles and this very beautiful woman came up to me and asked for my number.” Kuntz was confused.

 “She had just been standing there with who I thought was her husband.”

“I thought, ‘Oh, no! If I give this girl my number or get her number, this guy’s going to be so mad,” she explained.

Of course, Kuntz was wrong, and contrary to her expectations, she found the guy (Benno) pretty happy with the whole situation. Sierra told Barcroft to share her first experience with Benno and Cristina in these words: “Turns out, I guess, [Benno] was really happy about it.”

And not just Benno, Cristina was also very excited about the entire arrangement. So, as luck would have it, the two girls started seeing each other after a few dates, Benno also joined them. He was now a part of this relationship. It has suddenly become a love triangle where everyone is fully aware of the other’s situation and feelings. Amazing isn’t it?

Benno called their relationship a very natural transformation into a three-sided affair, referring to this arrangement as a thruple.

“[Sierra] and Cristina and I all clicked and shortly after our first date, we knew that we were meant to be with her, and that this was something we wanted to pursue,” Benno explained.

However, unlike Benno and Cristina, who seemed to be very much in favor of this new setup, Sierra was a bit skeptical about how things would unfold. She was unsure about her future with the two. Sierra admitted this uncertainty in her interview as well.

 “At first I was very hesitant about getting involved with a married couple. I was worried that I would be disposable and that this was a phase they were going through.”

So, to address her concerns, the couple decided to bring forth some much-needed changes.

Sierra Kuntz shared her uncertainty about her future with Cristina and Benno. They, however, brushed off her concerns claiming that her fear was unfounded. Pretty soon, Sierra also concluded that she was uselessly getting worried.

“When I spent time with them I realized what they wanted and [felt that] this was a situation I could work with, so I jumped on board.”

So, resultantly, the trip started a polyamorous relationship, and everyone was on-board with this arrangement.

Do you know what a polyamorous relationship is? It is characterized as a practice or desire for having relation involving multiple partners. In this kind of a relationship, all partners have consented and are a part of the relationship willingly.

Polyamory is a term coined for the first time by Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart, a Neopagan leader. Zell-Ravenheart first used this term in 10 in an article titled- “A Bouquet of Lovers.” This article was published in a magazine called Green Egg. In 1999, Zell-Ravenheart was contacted by the Oxford English Dictionary to define the term, and she defined it in these words:

“The practice, state or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved.”

This is polyamory’s universally accepted definition.

A majority of the couples who practice polyamory don’t really agree with the general assumption that exclusivity is the basis of a committed and deep relationship with your loved ones. They deny that there’s any room for feelings of jealousy.

Moreover, polyamorists usually value factors like communication, honest, commitment, equality, and love and regard them as pillars of a relationship. This entire concept may appear unusual to many, but believe it or not, this is a pretty common practice. Quartz published an article in which a 2017 survey comprising 8,700 adults revealed that at least 1 in 5 respondents had practiced non-monogamy with consent. In another study conducted in 2014, researchers identified that 4 to 5% of Americans regularly practiced polyamory.

In the USA, polyamory is a common practice, and the number of people practicing it increases every year. So, from this understanding, Cristina, Benno, and Sierra weren’t committing infidelity. They were in a love triangle by consent like those millions of Americans who practiced it.

So in the larger picture, this arrangement suited all three individuals. They were actually enjoying it and weren’t at all feeling forced to be in this relationship. Perhaps this is why polyamory works with modern couples. Instead of committing infidelity or indulging in secretive affairs, they open up their marriage and take in new partners. This unusual combo was working for them very well.

Cristina told Barcroft TV her personal feelings about their poly-triad relationship. She was sure about her preferences as she was a bisexual individual and felt attraction towards both males and females. In her interview, Cristina said:

 “I knew I was attracted to both men and women and I think that this type of relationship helps me satisfy both, you know, the male attraction and the female attraction – because I’m bisexual.”

She further added that before Kuntz entered their lives, she was happy with Benno, but she sometimes regretted being the only female in this relationship. She craved to be with a female despite that everything in their lies was picture perfect.

 “Other than that we had everything going for us. Three kids, a great relationship and adding Sierra into our lives has just made it a hundred times better. I feel like I’m complete.”

Though the three individuals were tied in an unusual relationship, all of them felt complete, and the polyamorous arrangement seemed all but natural. Benno was particularly fond of this scenario, especially when they were in the bedroom as they shared one bed and were proud of it.

 “We share a bed together, we share everything together, so since we met Sierra we have not had a night that we don’t all involve each other in some sort of sexual activity… I think that’s the nicest way to put it,” Benno revealed.

This sex life was suiting all of them, including Sierra, who seconded Benno’s analysis and said that having threesome sexual activity was beyond pleasurable. It was something totally different.

 “Everyone’s usually involved,” Sierra noted. “We’re all involved with each other and as you can imagine, it’s a threesome. So it’s good… it’s busy. There are lots of hands everywhere,” Benno added.

For Cristina and Benno, life couldn’t be any better than this. Both of them liked Sierra, and on the other hand, she was pretty content with this arrangement. According to Benno, having a great and fulfilling sex life is essential to making a marriage work. And theirs had it all.

“The beauty of what we do is that we can have a very active sexual life and it’s completely safe and it’s with people that we love. I don’t even have to worry about having a boring sex life 20 years from now when other couples or monogamous couples are. We have a lot of intimacy between all three of us.”

Eventually, Sierra decided to quit her job and moved into Benno and Cristina’s Kaiser family home. This was a full house with the couple’s three children also living with them. Introducing Sierra to the young kids felt a bit tricky initially, given the complexity involved in their relationship. However, it turned out to be an easy job.

Speaking about the time when they introduced Sierra to their kids, Benno said:

“It was just the natural course to take – to have her move into the home.”

In their interview with Barcroft TV, Benno explained how the couple introduced Kuntz to their children without delving deep into the idea of a polyamorous relationship. Benno said they had been preparing their kids for this upcoming new dimension their family life was about to take, and they were pretty supportive.

 “We had talked to our children before this and let them know [that] we wanted to adopt someone and bring somebody into our relationship. Our children have been very supportive of this. They have understood,” Benno told Barcroft TV.

By 2017, this new setting had shaped up, and Sierra had settled well into their household. Cristina, Benno, and the Kaiser kids all lived happily in their home located in Henderson, Nevada. Sierra played the role of a stay-at-home mother in this setting as she looked after the kids while Benno and Cristina were away at work.

Kids were pretty satisfied with Sierra handling their matters and seemed to have liked her a lot. They had accepted Kuntz wholeheartedly and used to call her Mommy, which was a huge achievement for Sierra. She had developed motherly feelings towards these little kids and loved her just as much as their biological parents.

“I absolutely feel like their mom. I hope now, they love me, they call me ‘mommy Sara’ and I love them just as much,” Sierra explained.

Sierra said that she felt just as attached to the kids as Cristina and Benno, their natural parents, did. Talking to Barcroft TV, Sierra Kuntz explained her feelings towards the kids.

“I’m not jealous that the children are not biologically related to me at all. Just because I didn’t birth them doesn’t mean I can’t love them and they can’t love me. That doesn’t hinder my love at all for them.”

People often fail to understand why polyamorous relationships work and how people could allow sharing their spouse with another individual. Moreover, people often criticize this practice because of its possible negative effect on kids’ psyche. However, Sierra believes that the Kaiser children have nothing to lose with this new setup.

Sierra told Barcroft TV that Cristina and Benno’s children have everything to gain and nothing to lose with this arrangement as she was there all the time for them. When their parents were away at work, so they get maximum attention even when their parents are not at home.

 “We have three times the love and support that one parent could give. Their teachers even comment on how happy they are,” Sierra said.

Benno also agreed that his children were happy with the new arrangement because they liked Sierra and had gotten used to seeing her around throughout the day.

“They’re always bringing up the fact that they have two moms and one dad.”

So, their kids did benefit from a polyamorous relationship, contrary to common perception.

Isaiah is the oldest of all Kaiser family kids and when Barcroft TV inquired about his experience with having two moms at once, this is what he had to say. “I have two moms to help me out with my homework. I also have two moms to love, and for them to love me too. My friends think it’s weird. They don’t understand how mom likes to have another mom in the house. So, they don’t understand.”

There’s no doubt that kids need someone to be around and help with their minor and major things such as homework or having meals. So, from this perspective, a polyamorous setting is ideal for families where the adults are doing full-time jobs as the other partner could stay home and look after the young ones, and the parents are satisfied that their kids are in safe hands.

Benno, Cristina and Sierra did admit that their parenting style with two mothers and one father involved has attracted criticism and confusion from people around. However, according to the couple, they are actually teaching their children a valuable life lesson.

“We never want our children to feel like they have to hide themselves from us. We’re proud of who we are and we expect the same from our children,” Sierra explained.

So, to be precise, the Kuntz/Kaiser household comprises three cheerful and happy young ones and three equally happy parents. But, what would have gone wrong in this little paradise that Benno and Cristina decided to part ways and file for a divorce?

There’s no doubt left that Sierra Kuntz had become a family member of the Kaiser family and a doting mom for Cristina and Benno’s kids. So, when everything was going fine, and kids were also happy with the new setting, why would Cristina and Benno want to break apart this strong knit family of theirs?

The reason isn’t what you might have in mind. It hadn’t got anything to do with Sierra. She was as happy with the three-way relationship as anyone could be. However, Benno and Cristina wanted to make things more balanced within this love triangle. They wanted to end this three-dimensional scheme of things and make it regarding one couple who would stay in the house while all three would have the legal custody of the three kids. So, who would be the new couple?

 Benno had realized that his legally wedded wife Cristina was growing uncomfortable by the fact that being a couple set them apart somehow from Sierra.

 “We knew that being married was something that would exclude the other person from feeling included as part of our family. So we decided that the best thing to do was to get a divorce,” Benno told Barcroft TV.

A divorce generally symbolizes the shattering of mutual trust shared by a couple and the breaking of a relationship. But, for the Kaiser clan, it was a well-thought-out decision and a sign of their love for each other.

 “Cristina and I decided this was something that needed to be done in order for Sierra to understand the depth of how much we love her and want her to be part of our family,” Benno added.

Benno revealed to Barcroft TV that divorcing Cristina and them marrying Sierra would benefit the Kaiser household on many different levels. He wanted Sierra to confidently stay in this relationship and not hesitate to invest herself emotionally into the kids as she would also become the kids’ legal guardian.

 “The benefits of one of us marrying her are going to be on many different levels. She is going to be legally considered a parent to the children and, more importantly, it will show her that this is not a temporary thing, we both love her and it’s something that’s meant to be permanent.”

Sierra, who was at the forefront of everything that was going on in the minds of the Kaiser couple, also shared her take on the couple getting divorced and one of them marrying her. She said that it wasn’t her idea to get them apart to become a member of their family legally, and she firmly believed that the connection each one of them had wasn’t going to change at all.

“It was Benno and Cristina’s idea for the divorce. But it won’t change anything; it’s just who is going to be legally married to who. They decided that would be the best way to make sure that I didn’t feel disposable. It wasn’t my idea, but I really don’t care whom I’m married to – I love them both,” Sierra shared her feelings.

Sierra Kuntz insisted that jealousy was not a factor that would drift any of them apart in their relationship. She believed that divorce was a mutual decision of the couple, and this wasn’t a result of any of their feelings of envy or jealousy towards the other. Their relationship was one-of-a-kind, and the thought that soon there would be just two individuals in this relationship was hard to grasp for her on a personal level.

“Sometimes we have a hard time communicating because there are three people instead of two, but we always work through it. We have always been the best in every situation and we always work through our problems,” Sierra explained her take on the divorce between Cristina and Benno.

The three individuals, Benno, Cristina, and Sierra, acknowledged that a polyamorous relationship isn’t easy to handle, and it doesn’t work for all, but it definitely did in their case. Their home was full of happiness, laughter, and kids were delighted to have two mothers looking after and doting over them. But, Benno admitted that theirs was an unconventional relationship.

 “We share all of our feelings with each other and we don’t hold anything back. Everything is equal, so there is nothing to be jealous of. We are very happy with all three of us together.”

“This lifestyle isn’t for everyone. There are a lot of people that are monogamous and are happy with just being with one person and that’s completely fine. Every one of us is different. But before you judge, take a look at our lives and see the benefit of it. I couldn’t imagine my life any other way,” Benno told Barcroft TV.